Member-only story
Most certainly, I know I am not alone running from the pain of my gender dysphoria.
Most of you have been through it also. You know it takes a great amount of effort to out-run your issues. For me, it has been a survival of the fittest scenario. I was stuck between the proverbial gender rock and the hard place. Exactly between the two primary binary genders, or male and female. Of course I was raised male and often resented it. When I did resent where I was in life, I just became more and more frustrated and the pain set in.
As the pain set in I had two alternatives as I saw it. Internalize the fact I was transgender or run from it. At the time, I hit a personal wall I didn’t even know was there. When I became tired of totally internalizing my gender issues, I set out to outrun them. I ran from my native Ohio to the suburbs of New York City then back again to rural Southern Ohio along the Ohio River. At the same time, I was switching jobs almost as fast as I was changing my shoes. I was fortunate in that I was in an industry which was expanding rapidly and there were quite a few new job opportunities to be had. At least when I landed a new job, I had the opportunity to take my mind off of my true problems.
None of the running worked and the pain increased. The only things I learned were there were pockets of acceptance wherever I went, including unlikely ones…
