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During the strenuous years of trying to achieve a passable feminine image, I never thought I would ever come close to feeling the transgender impostor syndrome. In fact, I know for certain for the longest time in my gender transition it wasn’t a term at all. Before we go any farther in this post, here is what the imposter syndrome means to me.
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Jessie Hart
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My interpretation is when you have arrived at a certain point of your life which you have worked diligently to achieve, all of a sudden you feel you don’t belong for whatever reason. The closest example I can come up with was when I was promoted to a executive general managers restaurant position I had worked years to secure. Once I did get promoted I always felt I belonged there because of all the work I had put in plus all the success I had achieved. Ironically, I never felt the same when I transitioned to a full time life as a transgender woman.
As my life unfolded, I always wondered why I wasn’t more satisfied with the results. I mean, hadn’t I earned my spot in the feminine world by doing a ton of experimentation which led to learning what worked and what didn’t as continued my often lonely path to gender fulfillment. Even though through much of the journey I had my doubts if I was going to make it at all, still I pushed forward. The one thing I never considered was what would my ultimate gender destination look like.
