Member-only story
When anyone states gender dysphoric individuals or gender fluid folks who seek to live as their authentic selves did it because they had a choice, I think they are crazy. They obviously don’t know anything how much pain and suffering goes into our journeys. Most of us from our earliest days grew up with unapproving parents. It took me until my early twenties to come out to my Mom. Which at that time I was rudely rejected by the offer of psychiatric treatment. At the same time I never came out to my Dad and both of my parents have long since passed on. In fairness to both of them, at that time, there was very little information available on any gender issues.
Even still, none of that excuses the pain I suffered. I went through days and even weeks wondering currently exactly which gender did I want to be on any given day. Of course the more I researched my mind, the more I knew I wanted to be feminine. I just couldn’t find a path to get there. Plus, once I started to find my way, I needed to figure out if it was the correct path and what were the roadblocks going to be in the future. As it turned out, there were plenty.
As I always mention, the thought of losing my male privilege’s as well as friends, family and work consumed me. The pain led me to drink too much alcohol as well as developing an active self harm personality.
