Member-only story
In my life, I have viewed my gender transition into a feminine world as a series of steps.
As with any climb, there were many steps which were more difficult than others and even those which needed extra time to negotiate. Looking all the way back to my childhood, my most difficult step was just being able to hide my secret “hobby” of dressing like a girl from the rest of my family. I was born into a very macho style group and for certain no one would have ever understood. For the longest time, any prepared plans to take more steps forward as a novice cross dresser would have to wait as I obsessed with just watching the girls around me from afar. The only step I really remember was how lonely and dark my gender closet was since I grew up in the pre-internet era where information was difficult to come by. Sadly, when I did come across any information about a cross dressed man, he was usually doing it to disguise himself as a woman for bad reasons.
Still I persisted and managed to climb a few steps at a time when they became available to me. I was able to buy and use makeup to the point I thought I looked feminine in the mirror. At the same time I broadened my outreach as a girl to dressing up and going to the mailbox (down our long driveway) on the rare days I found myself alone in the house.
