Member-only story
It is no big secret men are more insecure in their sexuality than women. Many to the point of being toxic in their approach. I think the toxicity is the reason for the uptick in violence against all women, transgender or not.
When I transitioned out of my old unwanted male world into a new scary exciting feminine universe, I wondered if my sexuality would or not have to change. For me, it meant giving up on my long held belief I was not a gay male. God forbid if I wasn’t . Somehow I never made the connection of dressing up as a girl with wanting to be with a man sexually. Even to the point when I finally understood I wanted to do more than just look like a woman, I wanted to be one. To be honest, the sexuality scared me more than anything else about my MtF gender transition. Could I have been wrong my entire life about my attraction to women?
Very early in my transition I was “coached” by friends such as Amy on how to practice being with a man by using a banana. While I appreciated the advice, I never really decided to think about a banana the same way again. Plus, since I was living a whole new lifestyle, who was to say I needed to live it a certain way. After all, there were many lesbians I knew who would disagree with me or anyone about needing a man to validate their existence. Since so many had told me I shouldn’t or couldn’t change my gender, what was one more idea…
