Member-only story
Slowly but surely I came to understand I was battling the two binary genders in my life. Of course the main problem was I was born male into a very male dominated family. My inner feminine soul faced an uphill battle from the very beginning.
The older I became, the bigger the gender split or dysphoria grew within me. The problem became, I did not understand what was happening. All I knew was I cherished my very limited time I had alone so I could explore my feminine self. Back then, all I really knew was I had very separate personalities. Deep down, I didn’t know why but some days I could live a male existence. Then on other days, all I wanted to be was a girl or woman. It was during those days, in many ways my male self became emotionally abusive to myself. He couldn’t come to any sort of acceptance to what was going on. I suppose these days, I would be described as being gender fluid.
Through it all, life went on until I began to accept the fact I was gender dysphoric and needed somehow to deal with it. Initially, my he decided to go down the typical male route of trying to ignore a problem hoping it would go away. Of course the problem never did go away until I faced it. Also initially, I tried to explain away my love of everything feminine by thinking I was a cross dresser and/or I was just a guy with a different hobby. The entire thought process bought me a little more time but that…
